This morning Chloe and I went to the Children's Museum with a friend and her daughters. What should have been a perfectly pleasant playdate ended with a bang - THANKS TO CHLOE! I took Chloe and her friend to Burger King and let them eat fried food (very bad for the arteries) and then let them run around like wild animals in the play area. Before we left, I took the girls to the bathroom to their business. Ari (Chloe's friend) did fine... business done... and so I moved on the next 3-year-old at hand. My darling daughter absolutely refuses to potty train. This is actually starting to horrify me. I've tried everything - bribery, potty charts, timers, dolls that pee, coercion, threats of death and maiming, peer pressure, making her run around naked, making her wear panties and enduring the cleanup, kid potties (note that we've purchased more than one potty to see if she likes a different one better) in front of the tv with a steady supply of suckers, chocolate milk and chips to keep her on the dang thing, and so forth (you get the picture, and it's not pretty - this has been going on for well over 6 months).
Anywho... since Ari used the potty, Chloe wanted to go to, but then she got the wacky idea that she should take off all of her clothes and get in the toilet. I have no idea why she was so possessed, but all of a sudden it was all I could do to stop her from taking off her clothes. She's pretty strong, so she practically had one foot in the toilet as I was trying to wrench her shirt back on her - she'd already shed her pants and shoes - and keep her from diving headfirst into a rather unsanitary experience (LITERALLY). She was screaming her head off and I kept trying not to swear and I know they heard us through the whole dang restaurant. This little old lady comes in and asks me if we're okay - I'm not really sure what she thought... Imagine a half naked 3-year old with one foot in the toilet, her mother trying to keep her from ripping off her shirt and both of us screaming bloody murder. I was a little worried that someone was going to call the police.
I finally managed to get things under control. After disinfecting Chloe with a bottle of sanitary gel and reinserting her into her clothes, we walked out of the bathroom. I kid you not, the whole restaurant went completely silent and everyone just looked at us. I've decided 2 things: The first... whoever coined the phrase "terrible-two's" never had a bloody three-year-old; and the second... my bad karma has caught up with me in the form of an un-potty-trained, potty diving monster with pig-tails. She might look innocent when she's sleeping, but that angelic smile she's wearing is disguising her dreams of evil plots to make her mother crazy.
DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA!
Friday, January 30, 2009
A Harrowing Experience
Posted by The Price Family at 6:18 PM
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8 comments:
So funny-sorry. I can see it all now and I can hear you screaming in my head. I'm sorry Kellie. I guess she'll potty train when she's ready? :)
I'm sorry that I'm laughing my head off right now. But, I can't help it. Yikes. Just think, when she's a beauty-obsessed teen, you can hold this one over her head. "Yeah, you think you know everything? Well, you DID spend some time in a public toilet. BY CHOICE! And you LIKED it!" Something like that to keep her in line.
As for the pottie training. Hmmmm. If it makes you feel any better, she won't be calling you from the 8th grade asking you to come change her diaper. My girls were 3 when they decided to train. I'm not even going to try with Abby. I've learned with the other 2 that they do it when they dang well please. Good luck!
That's hilarious! I love it! (Sorry... I'm sure it wouldn't be so funny if it was me!)
aaaahhh life with a little girl... i so feel your pain!
You poor thing! Maybe you can ship her off to live with Krista, she loves kids doesn't she? :)
It's the WORST when your kids act out in public. You feel like everyone is judging you. Maybe just "throw away" all of her potty training stuff and act like you don't care. Reverse psychology?
I feel for you. We are working with Avery right now. She learned to go pee in the potty but wouldn't poop. Now she will poop in the potty but has decided she wants to pee in her pull-ups. She is also becoming a master of the temper tantrums. Keep in touch.
that's funny and gross all at the same time. Actually it's just funny. We haven't had that, but we have had worse, which is not funny at all. Maren put her hands in the toilet and put her hands in her mouth. She got in big trouble for that one.
I am sure that Ari was just looking at both of you like you were crazy. I mean she never acts that way-screaming, and carrying on.
Of course I am kidding. I am sorry I wasn't there to help out.
As far as the potty training goes, I did not choose this and typically at this point in potty training I am losing my mind. But since she is so young I keep telling myself that anything is great. However, I am petrified that in 3 months I am going to hate that I ever let her go on the potty.
But Chloe is welcome anytime to come and sit on the potty.
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